The end of my third year high school life was nearing when the topic of college
admission tests was brought. A flock of loud, enthusiastic friends of mine were
talking inside the room during break time. “I want to study in UP!” Honey, my classmate,
said. And so, the rest of the group shared where they want to spend their life
as a college student. UP, Ateneo, UST, and La Salle were the common names you
would hear from them. One even said that he would take all the entrance exams
of the big four universities and choose the school where he would pass. Then,
my best friend asked me, “Robin, how about you? Where will you study?” I was
caught off guard. I never thought of thinking about it. I can’t respond. In
fact, I don’t even know the answer.
Looking back at those times; I am really
mesmerized on how things turned out to be. Truly, God has plans for us and He
will make them come true in the least expected ways.
The summer vacation has ended but I still
don’t know where I would go for college. My friends are now preparing their
UPCAT application forms; they asked me if I want to join them in passing their
papers and I said yes. You might think that I’ve already decided to choose UP
but no, I’m only pressured by the people around me and so with my parents who
believe that an education in UP would be the best for me. Hence, we went to UP
Diliman to pass our forms and this is the start of how I fell in love with the
Philippines premier university. Walking along the wide roads of UP and
breathing its fresh air made me realized the answer to the question I’ve been
longing for; this where I want to study.
Time flew fast and the day of the examination came. I did my best, bringing my
prayers and dreams with me as I conquer the “hardest entrance exam” of all. I’m
not that confident with my answers but I do believe that if this is God’s plan
for me, he will give it to me.
And again, time passed by.
The cold breeze of the air and the swirling joy of the
people were felt. It’s that time of the year again where festive lights and
colorful decorations were set along the streets and houses of every Filipinos.
Who would have thought that during this season, when I was expecting to receive
gifts, a heart break would come to me instead. The UPCAT results went out at
the least expected moment. Some says that it was a Christmas gift from UP but
it was not the case for me. Rather, it was a bomb that deteriorated my dreams.
I failed. And it was the worst Christmas for me.
At the lowness of my life, there came another spark of hope. My aunt told me
that other UP campuses were accepting reconsideration applications. Luckily, my
exam grade was 2.27, a grade that can even qualify to UP Diliman, as what my
research tells me. So, I tried and went there with my mother despite the people
telling me it was impossible. I know it is but it wouldn’t hurt to try, right?
This is the point wherein a
man tries to make himself believe the impossible because that’s what his heart
tells him. And yes, it was never possible. They rejected us... but it wasn’t
the end of my fight. The day after that, I went to UP Manila to apply there
instead. I filled up a reconsideration form, indicating the courses I’m
planning to take. The problem is, I’m really not that interested with the list
of the available courses they gave. But who cares? It’s still UP. Ergo, I
continued.
A month had passed and there
were the first batch of the results. Depressingly, my name wasn’t there. At
that time, UST, the only university that I’d applied for aside UP, called me.
They said that if I’m not going to pass my form-138/ report card, they will
revoke my slot. However, if I pass that card then it would mean bye-bye UP and
hello UST. It was a battle against my hopes and my sanity. There’s no turning
point. Should I still cling to my heart’s content or should I just be practical
and choose UST?
It was a gamble. I decided to follow my heart. Absurd as it may seems, I didn’t
passed my form-138. My friends and my parents’ friends said I was stupid but I
ignored them. Weeks have passed by and still, UP wasn’t releasing the list of
the second batch. I called and called their department but I always get the
same answer. “Just wait.” But all people can grew tired of waiting, and this is
the part where I felt it. If I would still wait for them, then chances are, I
won’t have any school at all. Hence, I realized that there are battles that you
will never win and following your heart won’t assure that you’ll be happy in
the end. I am desperate. I’m broken. I’m left out. But God heard me at my
worst. UST called me again, offering me a second chance. I grabbed it. And the
rest was history.
Right now, I'm studying at the University of Sto. Tomas and I am really
enjoying my stay here; this place is where I really belong and it was not a
coincidence but rather a fate that brought me here. The moral is, the heart can
make us to do things that we never thought we can. Blinded from reality and
constricted from what we think is right, we often follow it. Doing so is
not bad. In fact, only courageous people can do it. However, we must know that
there will always be a point in our lives wherein we have to accept defeat and
let our dreams go. It might broke our hearts but we should always remember that
hearts were made to recover from brokenness. And when that time comes that we
have to deal with that dilemma, God will be there to mend us.
